It's really hard to entrust the most valuable thing to another person. It's how I feel about this baby. I think it's easy to overlook the appreciation and gratitude for the person doing so, but there are so many moving parts and emotions for everyone, that I wanted to take a moment and share that. Our GC (gestational carrier) will probably never read this, but it's important for me to put this out there too. We are not personal with our social media, and even though we text almost daily throughout this entire process, we have managed to keep very good boundaries that luckily never had to be spelt out.
First off I want to thank her for letting me guide this journey. I spent over 1.5 years researching this, and it's been great that she trusts me. I obviously made sure that all needs were met for us and her, but it's important that no one second guessed each other. I know this is not easy on her, and I know we are all making our sacrifices, and it makes me feel whole that she is willing to have a conversation with me rather than just tell me after the fact.
Becoming pregnant is one thing, but the amount of medications, needles, ultrasounds, and bloodwork she went through is an amazing feat and one that should be truly recognized and have immense gratitude for. It's very different to do ivf for yourself because you have all of the motivation to do so, and as a GC you do this from having a good heart, from being able to be selfless and that is something really beautiful. Off course there is a financial motivation, but it truly doesn't cover the mind of someone to do something like this.
I can't thank her enough for all the belly pictures, the videos, the updates on his movements, sharing the food adversions, what she was craving, letting me know when she was planning a trip, and being communicative of any doubts, anxieties or questions she had. I'm an open book and finding someone that was able to be transparent with me went an incredible way, because we both found comfort in being able to be open and reach out when needed. I also can't thank her enough for always making sure I felt like the mom in this entire process. From doctors appointments, to saying "Happy "" weeks mamma!" weekly, and to always making sure I was comfortable with any situation that the doctors asked regarding the birth.
As we near the end of this journey it's been a little more difficult to find the appreciation, because we are both ready for this to come to an end. But I was reminded that the appreciation and gratitude is exactly what I need to be focusing on right now. If I were to look back at the beginning of this journey, there were so many doubts and fear whether this would work or not, and now that we are here about to receive our sweet miracle, it's important to let go of all the negativity around it and focus on where we are. I couldn't be more thankful that this worked, that we only had to use one embryo transfer, that my sweet baby boy has remained strong and healthy throughout, that there hasn't been any major complications, and that we are all willing to do whatever it takes.
Writing this also feels my heart with so much joy instead of anxious and nervous thoughts. I think it's important for me to feel everything I'm feeling and not diminish any thought, but it's up to me how I want to feel about this everyday, and today I choose gratitude.
Comentários