The hardest part about being a mom is the internal guilt we feel not knowing if we are doing our best. I think it's easy for us all to second guess our decisions and look at other moms or households and shame ourselves. When you have a newborn there are so many things you have to worry about, but the most common and most important one is feeding your baby. It's natural to think that breastfeeding is the best way to feed your baby, but I think we tend to forget that everyone's circumstances are so different, and the most important thing is that a baby fed is the only and most important thing. It doesn't matter if it comes from a breast, bottle, or powder. There is absolutely zero shaming and doing what's best for you and your baby is all that matters.
I was able to breastfeed Logan for 4 months before my surgeries took too much of a toll on me and my supply. I felt horrible that I could no longer provide for him and I remember crying so hard that I failed him. I had a lot of counseling and life coaching sessions during this time so that I could process the fact that I would never be able to carry another child again, and that I still had to take care of my sweet newborn in the mixt of my internal turmoil. Luckily my doula for my pregnancy also became my life coach, and she informed me of this group where you could ask for breastmilk. This right here felt like a lifeline and it's truly remarkable there are people out there that are willing to donate to other mothers in need.
Human Milk for Human Babies. It's a facegroup group, and there is one in every state, where you can request a donation or reach out to those that have offered donations. It's usually a private group and you are able to inquire if the person takes medications, drinks alcohol, does drugs, eats certain kinds of diets, if they are dairy free, drink caffeine, etc. You can be as picky as you would like on your request and sometimes it requires a few posts for you to be able to find the right match. There is also something called high lipase milk which is when the milk after being frozen, has a very distinct metallic taste to it and some babies can't drink it. I was able to find a women who had a little boy the same age as Logan at the time, and she was able to donate milk to me on a regular basis until Logan turned one. I also picked up other milk along the way, but I was so happy I was able to have this group make it to my original milestone before my diagnosis.
And then there is formula. There is nothing wrong with formula either, I just personally wanted to use the breastmilk if possible because it was something I had intended on doing myself for Logan before my life changed those plans. Now there is a lot to say about formula. There are formulas from Europe that are more regulated than the ones sold in the United States. You do pay a premium price and it takes a little while longer to arrive then just going into a grocery store, but they avoid using major red flags that should not be found in formulas. The EU has stricter guidelines than the FDA which is why they are more strict in the ingredients used for the formulas. For Logan, I supplemented with Holle Goat formula when he was 8 months when we were low on breastmilk and he loved it also.
I'm also not writing to shame anyone that uses the American made formulas, but a lot of people don't realize that there are different options on the market that are more controlled. Like I said Fed is Best and however your baby is getting fed is the only and most important thing.
With Victor, I wasn't sure if I would have enough breastmilk stored away, so I bought already the stage 1 to have in the house just in case. I also reached out to the same facebook group and have already secured over 2000oz of breastmilk. Our GC is also willing to pump for us and ship it. Per our contract she would get $200/ week for pumping and then shipping costs can be anywhere from $300-500 per shipment. That sure can get pricey very fast, so I'll keep posting on the group and hope that I get more, but in the end I am completely happy to use the formula that I trust too. I also noticed during my research on formulas this time around that besides the controlled European formulas, the USA did launch their very own FDA approved one that follows the same guidelines as the EU.
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