Chemo- Get Your Game Face On

I knew I was starting chemo right away. I knew that from the severity of the situation, what I didn’t know is what to expect. By the time I met with my oncologist, I had already found Dr. Joe Dispenza. I had a great mindset but I hadn’t mastered it yet. When they told me I was going to get 10 hours of chemo, I didn’t flinch. I was ready and willing to do whatever it takes.

They had set me up for 6 rounds of chemo with two immunotherapy. I also chose to do the cold cap to try and preserve my hair, even though that is not guaranteed. The Doctors told me that after the six rounds we were lucky to see any major results, especially from the tennis size tumor that I had on top of the other 6 tumors. I was also in contact with the doctor from Verthermia( they do the full body hyperthermia), and he was also concerned about my large tumor and how we should do 3 rounds of chemo first before attempting Verthermia.

As I mentioned before, I was willing to do whatever it takes and that includes alternative ways. My entire team is open minded to integrating all aspects of healing, and for that I’m grateful. I invested in an infrared sauna because it has huge benefits for helping with chemo side effects, and in the natural medicine world has many cancer fighting benefits. I was doing the cold plunge DAILY, even during my worst days. I have an acupuncturist who was crucial for helping with side effects and I also did massage therapy for lymphatic drainage. And last but not least, I have a naturopathic oncologist who I’ve been working with since 2020. Put all of this together, and I have a fantastic mixture of doing whatever it takes.

My naturopath gave me a ton of supplements to help with chemo and help fight cancer, I’m happy to share more just send me a message 😊 She also told me a bunch of things to avoid and a protocol during chemo. The protocol included fasting for 2 days prior to chemo, the day of chemo and 2 days after. Eating a keto diet, not doing the infrared sauna for 7 days after chemo and then doing it as many days I could after until the next round. Exercise was very important but that’s something I was used to doing, and last but not least sleep! Good ol’ fashion rest.

Round 1. I woke up and did a meditation, then did the cold plunge and packed my huge 2 bags for the whole day, a long day but doable.I did this before every round 10 hours hooked up to a machine with a freezing cap on my head, plus freezing socks to prevent neuropathy was no joke. Because of the cold cap I could only detach from the chair for a total of 8 mins for THE WHOLE DAY. I had to be quick going to the bathroom and besides that I was stuck to my little area. I would get up and do squats and stand for as much as possible. I was able to have visitors which was a HUGE plus and made the day go by so much faster. Once I finished the day I was tired but it didn’t feel impossible to do it. I was diligent about doing all of my other natural ways in between rounds.

Round 2. I went in there more powerful then the last time because I knew what to expect. I did the exact same routine and it felt the same. Except for the next day. The fasting was becoming too much. I had already lost a lot of weight because of doing keto and I was getting nauseous and weak from the long fasting. I only lasted until the end of the next day after chemo and my body couldn’t handle it anymore.

Round 3. After this round I was able to do another Pet scan. By this time most of my hair had thinned out and I had missing patches of hair on the top and back of my head. The cold cap hurt way more going on and it gave an instant headache. I decided to do a 3 day fast this time instead of the 5. When I looked in the mirror I didn’t recognize myself. I think this was the hardest part for my mental state. My eyelashes were gone, no eyebrows. I felt thin and just unwell. They say chemo compounds after every time and I could see that happening. But not once did I stop doing all of my other methods. I kept my head high. I remember waking up some days and having a full on pep talk to myself in the mirror to keep going and that I had this. It takes a lot for a person to not let this break them down, and I’m proud that I won that battle.

The day after round 3, while still fasting I became beyond sick. Just non stop vomiting and my watch kept alarming me that my heart rate was below 40. I had 17 notifications about my heart. I went to the ER and they put on a defibrillator on me the whole time I was there in case my heart stopped. It was staying at 32-38 bpm. They said it was because I was probably low on fluids. It took about 2-3 days for my heart rate to return to normal. My PET scan also came back with excellent news. Not only did 5 of the 7 tumors disappeared, but the large one remaining looked like swiss cheese. My entire team was dumbfounded.

When I was diagnosed I was told only 1% of people with my grave situation make it past 1 year, and my situation was already rare to begin with, so the group of people that have had this is very small. The statistics are crazy but I was determined to be the 1%. What I had accomplished in just 3 rounds ALONG side all my natural ways was a HUGE WIN.

Round 4. At this point I was only able to do 48 hours of fasting. I also felt guilty for not being able to do more. It was a hard battle about trying to do everything and also making sure I didn’t feel ill and too weak to make it through it. My friends were still coming to visit me and it made a huge difference in how I handled the day of chemo.

The day after I got more alerts from my phone about my heart rate. It was constant. I was also feeling very shallow breathing. I went to the ER again and after more research it was apparent to my oncologist that I was experiencing a very rare side effect from one of my immunotherapies, Keytruda. The plan was that I would discontinue the Keytruda moving forward, but now I was having to see a cardiologist weekly for echos and my heart was at serious risk. I again leaned on my meditations with Dr. Joe Dispenza to heal. I was also told that I wouldn’t be able to do the Verthermia be cause of the myocarditis, which was a huge disappointment and I had that as a back up plan. This made me realize that I needed to trust myself more.

Round 5. This one was tough. I was nervous about the outcome with what the chemo would do to my heart and overloading it, and I was only able to fast for 24 hrs. I had booked to do the Dr. Joe Dispenza retreat which was known to be a healing experience in June, 2 weeks before my last round, and this is all I could think about. The cold cap at this point was freezing my whole body and I felt weaker than ever before. At this point the smell of this place was starting to make me nauseous and the amount of teas I was drinking to stay warm was also becoming too much. As I write this it actually makes me feel nauseous thinking about it, and to this day I can’t smell tea or drink it at all.

I knew my heart rate was going to be low so instead of freaking out over it I embraced it. I had to take a 3 week break from exercise because of my heart, and I was very happy when my echo's started showing signs of improvement all on its own without medication.

The Retreat was an unforgettable experience and after this I felt like a master of my own mind and thoughts. And nothing could knock me down. I returned the day before round 6.

Round 6. I was so energized from my retreat that I walked in there fearlessly. But as any warrior knows, even in moments of weakness there is strength. I had one of the worst rounds and I still fought through every minute of those 10 hours. I will never forget my sweet friend Deena just watching me dry heaving and unable to hold a full conversation without feeling ill. I look back at that day and know that’s what makes me a fighter. That’s what warriors are made of.

After the 6th round I got to do another PET scan. I wasn’t even surprised with my results. I knew then and I know now that I will overcome this. I had no active cancer. WOW. Imagine that! I had achieved the impossible by my doctors after 6 rounds of chemo. Luckily my oncologist also knows that EVERYTHING else that I did matters, and my mindset was the winning key.

I was able to survive this while raising a newborn, being present for my family and friends, with my beloved Brody dog passing away, and losing my old self and recreating everything I believed in over a course of 4.5 months. What I wish I could say to my old self is: “ Don’t wait to change and become who you want to be until your back is against the wall, make the change now”.

One of the moments I won’t forget was Logan’s preschool graduation. It was scheduled the day after round 5 and I wasn’t going to miss it for anything. I had to leave the auditorium several times because I felt I was going to faint. But I never showed it to him. Not once did my sweet boy know I was struggling and I didn’t miss a single memory for our family. Time is so much more special when you face death, it’s something you don’t take for granted. My time, people who I spend it with, and memories are valuable and I want to create the experiences my family will cherish.

I will forever be immensely grateful to all of my family and friends who came to be with me during my infusion days, to those that helped raise Victor when I couldn’t, and for the outpouring of love and support to everyone that was part of my journey. A Greatful mind and love in your heart is the cure to everything, and I couldn’t of done it without the help of you all. Thank you for not judging my life or belittling my natural ways, thank you for helping me hold my head high and thank you for knowing the fight was rough even though I made it look easy.

I am strong and I will overcome this ❤️