When I was pregnant with Logan, I had planned the most beautiful baby shower. It was something I had so dearly envisioned and then covid hit. The entire event had to be canceled and even though some people chose to theirs virtually, it wasn't something I wanted.
In my head I've always thought that "when I have a second child" I would then do the shower that I had planned. After the hysterectomy the baby shower thing always lingered in my head. I knew I would never have the baby shower where they measure your belly, or all the bump activities. I know it may sound vain or shallow, but it's the little things that you feel robbed from.
Fast forward to having the opportunity of having a second child. In my situation it is a blessing and one I'm forever grateful for, and when our GC got past 30 weeks, it was an amazing feeling and one that felt should also be celebrated. Even if our celebration looked a bit different. I've been blessed to be connected to this amazing mom group, and these wonderful ladies all came together to throw me a baby shower. Because I had such an attachment to the shower for Logan that never happened, I was happy to be involved and have my vision finally come through light.
The wave of emotions was surreal. I wanted to honor my journey in a unique way by having photos that represented the entire timeline of the egg retrieval to where we were now. My best friends came from afar and that really made me feel whole because it represented to me how important this moment was. I will cherish this moment and appreciate that I had the opportunity to celebrate and to give me back something I felt was lost from my experience, even if it wasn't exactly how I invisioned it, because it was extremely special and lovely in it's own way.
I think a lot of people debate having their GC be part of the shower, but for me it would have taken way from the actual feelings I had over my shower. It's another reminder of why I can't carry my baby or how I feel left out over the experience. Our GC did offer to come but ultimately after talking with my friends and how I felt about it, it would have been weird for me, and agian, a different experience than what I had envisioned. It was also in our contract that she wasn't to fly or travel far in the third trimester, and when we planned the shower, I wanted baby to be at least 34 weeks just for piece of mind that we had made it this far. I do feel bad if that would have hurt her feelings, but I have given so much from myself to let go and be in this moment for me, that it felt important to not give up on the little bit of what I wanted out of this.
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